i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Are we still banned from the library?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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