that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
