Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize