At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Couch. On fire.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
