Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
