it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
