Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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