btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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