thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize