Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
