Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
