You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize