he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
