Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
