we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
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You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
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David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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