it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Even my vagina gasped.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
