ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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