I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
