i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize