It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
