i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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