Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend

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(940): View more from Texas

and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.

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(917): View more from New York City

Sober January is a disaster.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(858): View more from California

Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off

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(571): View more from Virginia

I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

I can't help you there

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