Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass

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(513): I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass http://tfl.nu/na0v

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

how do flat chested girls get laid?

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(724): how do flat chested girls get laid? http://tfl.nu/7tbe

Replies (189) Good night (1086) Bad night (5712) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.

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(310): He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance. http://tfl.nu/gr0i

Replies (25) Good night (9085) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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(954): View more from Florida

It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.

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(954): It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life. http://tfl.nu/v7co

Replies (10) Good night (605) Bad night (3502) Order T-Shirt
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(573): View more from Missouri

My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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(573): My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly. http://tfl.nu/go2x

Replies (7) Good night (6915) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table

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(630): It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table http://tfl.nu/i2oz

Replies (25) Good night (1363) Bad night (4042) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night

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(847): Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night http://tfl.nu/mp67

Replies (7) Good night (2967) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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(409): View more from Texas

I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree

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(409): I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree http://tfl.nu/saof

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(904): View more from Florida

Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.

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(904): Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot. http://tfl.nu/hyac

Replies (11) Good night (2034) Bad night (630) Order T-Shirt
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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(715): Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out. http://tfl.nu/yvz7

Replies (13) Good night (2592) Bad night (470) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?

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(914): She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable? http://tfl.nu/73t2

Replies (4) Good night (2512) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.

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(931): Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult. http://tfl.nu/v17w

Replies (10) Good night (1232) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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(916): View more from California

Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties

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(916): Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties http://tfl.nu/1wl7

Replies (3) Good night (1284) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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(432): View more from Texas

dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"

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(432): dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds" http://tfl.nu/wwid

Replies (14) Good night (648) Bad night (1643)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one

(847): View more from Illinois

I had a salad today

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies

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(978): When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one (847): I had a salad today (978): Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies http://tfl.nu/rhtj

Replies (2) Good night (788) Bad night (389)

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