Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.