Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.