you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
