Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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