Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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