You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
