Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
