She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My cat gives me a boner
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
COCAINE IS GR8
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
