Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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