you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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