i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I cut my penus on the lid.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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