Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
why is half of my head shaved?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize