dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
