How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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