census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
