Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
