oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
