i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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