I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
