No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
