she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
