if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize