I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude i'm inner monologue high
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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