Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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