Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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