i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
