This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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