First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I enjoy the company of your penis
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
