Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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