ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
