Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
