I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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