guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
