Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
