Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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