He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
