Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
