Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize