and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
