I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
