just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it penis luge time yet?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
