I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
